Imagine.

Fear of everything you see.

Painful avoidance and insatiable rituals.

Counting.

Everything.

Absolutely everything, that you see.

Terrifying thoughts.

Thoughts that defy your values.

That you feel responsible to prove as false.

A mind insistent – that just

One.

More.

Compulsion.

Will provide you, with the peace you seek.

And then –

Finally.

Finally finding that peace – after sometimes excruciating hours, days, even weeks – of attempting to get your compulsions “right”.

Hours locked away in bathrooms. With hands so raw, to prove it. Crying, as you lay prisoner to the rituals that know no mistake.

Hours of driving – with what feels like an inability to stop. Nearly running out of gas. Begging. Pleading – to be able to stop.

Counting, and blinking, and repeating – just “once more”.

Analyzing, and checking.

Isolating.

Ritualizing.

All for that “peace” to be taken, just as quickly as it arrived.

A never ending cycle of pain and avoidance.

All in an attempt to prove – that this time, you have finally done enough.

That this time – you are worthy in the eyes of your OCD.

Cracked hands – raw, and bleeding.

Unsettling thoughts – and an even more unsettled mind.

Repetition. Phrases.

So very much that goes unseen.

Now, that.

That is OCD.

An indescribably painful disorder.

Far worse, and much less desirable than the favorable trait it is depicted to be.

A demand for perfection –

That will never be met.

And the mind –

Of a person.

Just begging to be free.